In honor of my 30th birthday, I wanted to put together this laughable list of things only moms know.
Of course, this list could apply to people who aren’t mothers. Some dads play the role of mom and could very well find this list to describe the things they know.
In any case, please don’t take this list to offense if it doesn’t seem to apply to your situation. As always, I can only blog about my personal experience as a mother and my experiences could differ from yours.
On that note, enjoy (if the kids let you)!
15 Things Only a Mother Would Know
1. How nearly impossible it is to wash, dry, and fold all the laundry in the same day. Oh, I washed all the laundry yesterday, but it’s all sprawled out on the couch at the moment. It’ll probably be there tomorrow, too.
2. Everyone’s schedule. His dad has no clue when our son’s next martial arts test is. Why is it that men can only handle what’s going on in the next 24 hours? And don’t we all love it when they say, “You didn’t tell me,” only for us to respond by saying, “Yes, I did!”
3. Where everything goes. This works against us seeing as how no one else puts anything away! Why don’t they bother learning where it goes? Or maybe they just don’t notice. What other possible explanation is there for walking past something without so much as noticing it’s out of place? I give up. Maybe I should start labeling stuff.
4. How annoying it is to be bothered while on the toilet or in the shower. I can’t be the only mother who has responded by saying, “What do you want me to do? Go tell your father!” It’s as if they don’t realize that their dad is fully capable of handling all their little emergencies while mom uses the restroom. Perhaps I should start pestering them while they shower.
5. The pressure to balance our time at work, with our family, and our husband. Why don’t Dads feel this pressure? Oh, I know. Because we’re moms! We live in guilt. They should have called parenting guilthood.
6. How much raising kids really costs. We are the ones signing the school permission slips and ordering yearbooks and pictures, not to mention groceries. I can’t tell you how many times my husband has questioned how I could have possibly spent $200 at the supermarket while the fridge and pantry still look empty? Honestly, I’m just as puzzled by this as he is.
7. The stresses of parent pick-up. There is a driver (perhaps a grandparent) that always refuses to let her child out of the car until an adult from their school is present, holding up the line. I promise, she is the only parent who cares. The rest of us are pushing our kids out the door so we can hurry up and have a dang moment of silence! I may have swore under my breathe at this lady a couple of times for making me sit in the carpool line WAY longer than is tolerable. I came so close to asking her if something was wrong once.
8. Poop. It doesn’t always stay in the diaper. Need I say more?
9. How much we have invested in our children. They grew inside us for nine months and we provided milk to feed them. We can’t help but feel responsible for everything they do – except when they do something bad. Then, we blame their father: “That’s your daughter!”
10. Instinct. A moms intuition goes beyond the whole “the kids are too quiet” suspicion. We could be miles away and sense something is wrong – except when on a cruise ship in the middle of the Caribbean. My mom instincts must have went off when the cell signal died because I didn’t learn about my son’s bout with food poisoning until we returned home.
11. What items are safe to eat in the fridge. My memory isn’t the greatest, but I’m pretty good about knowing when it’s time to throw leftovers out. The same goes for pantry items. While I’m talking about this, why don’t the kids ever finish a box of cereal? The handful that remains gets stale because they don’t fold the bag down. Apparently, I have to teach them everything (throws hands up in the air)!
12. The foods everyone will or will not eat. (I’m seeing a pattern of remembering so many things I didn’t realize I remembered.) My son doesn’t like most meats, my daughter won’t eat vegetables, and my toddler loves yogurt. Their dad might know these things, too, but I can probably name 10 more things about each of their food habits, including his own! Like how my middle one will pick out the tomatoes and onions from her food, or our two-year-old will pick out the beans from the rice and eat those first. I could go on and on…
13. How aggravating it feels to referee arguments 24/7. I have a son and daughter, which I’ve heard makes for the worst type of sibling rivalry. They are constantly getting on each other’s nerves. (And my own, to be honest!) When will they learn that life isn’t all about fairness and equality because I’m tired of trying to get them to understand it. Someone else please teach them how to compromise because I’ve lost patience for it. I’m sure I’m not alone here.
14. How to parent each child differently. As babies, care is pretty standard, but once their personalities emerge, all hell breaks loose. What worked for baby # 1 doesn’t work for baby # 2 and we’re left learning how to parent all over again with each new child we bring into this world. So, it’s not so much that we change our parenting styles over the years. It’s more that our styles adjust to their changing needs and personalities. We know what we are doing (sorta). There’s a method to the unequal madness.
15. How awesome it is to be someone’s mom. Moms are the backbone of the family. Moms guide the whole family in a general direction and to be given that responsibility is an honor and privilege. We are the first person our kids go to when they are in need. They crave their mother’s love more than anyone else’s. We birthed someone who loves us unconditionally. The best part: We can screw it all up and they wouldn’t even know.
As I reflect on thirty years of life, I would say that the last ten have been the best because that’s how long I’ve been a mother. I’ve experienced the most joy while raising them and watching them grow. I’ve enjoyed watching my husband grow as a father. And, I’m proud of the mother I’ve been.
I’m looking forward to being a mother for the rest of my life because we all know a mother’s job doesn’t end. “Mom knows best” is an understatement. My children will need me everyday of their life and I will be here for them everyday of my life.
Here’s to the next thirty years! Happy Birthday to me!