“I’ve got this feeling, inside my bones. It goes electric wavy when I turn it on.” – Justin Timberlake
Acting on intuitive nudges lately has dramatically changed how I’ve been feeling. I’m a pretty serious looking person, you know…the type that has the word “bitch” stamped across her forehead. I can’t help it. I was born in NYC.
But, once you know me, I’m gentler and more caring than first glance. So, following my gut lately has been making me feel giddy inside. On the outside, I still look like a bitch, but on the inside I’m feeling like a little kid.
Remember how you felt as a child? How you dreamed of growing up and being something out of this world, like a scientist or astronaut? Or maybe you dreamed of a more practical career, like being a teacher or doctor. You had no idea what it took to become those things, but you had a tug in your heart leaning you towards those things.
And then someone told you that it would be hard. Or that it didn’t make financial sense and that you needed to get a “real job.” Or that you didn’t have the brains for it.
Something. Someone slapped reality in your face and you put your dream away in a box and hid it under your bed where socks go to die.
What if you could be that little kid again? What if you could pick up that old, dusty box of dreams and love them again like you did as a kid? What if you could put your blinders on and tell the world to screw themselves? How would you feel? How would you feel if someone finally told you that you could do what you wanted and that the only thing stopping you is you?
All my life I’ve loved to write. I’d get excited after completing English assignments (I know, I’m weird). I’ve been keeping a journal since I was around 10 years old. But I never dreamed that I could pursue writing as a career. I was smart and knew that writers didn’t make money and being the practical person I am, I pursued an education in something that I was interested in and knew would be able to support me. Until it didn’t support me and turned into nothing.
And very possibly for the better.
I’m beginning to believe that the reason everything I’ve tried (that isn’t related to writing) hasn’t panned out is because I’m meant for something else. I’ve been going against my gut intuitive feelings for so long because my brain has told me it wouldn’t work. My brain has said that my voice will get lost in the sea of millions of other “wanna be” bloggers and writers. I’ve self-sabotaged my own success because I’ve allowed doubt and fear to be my guiding light instead of relying on the light inside of me to shine the path I’m meant to go.
But no more.
I have such a different excitement about this new plan I have for a website I’m creating (as well as other ventures) and they all feel like exactly where I need to go right now. No more looking around at what other people are doing. No more being afraid of what people will think. No more feeling embarrassed that I don’t have a “real job” or that I wasted my time and money going to school or pursuing other business opportunities.
Everything led me to this. Everything has brought me to this point where I am crystal clear on what I want and while I’m not sure how everything is going to happen, I’m confident that if I continue to follow my instincts and meditate regularly to focus, I will find the inspiration and answers to keep going.
Something big is about to happen. I can feel it. My body feels it. It’s difficult to describe.
All I know is I’m going with it. Where it will take me, only time will tell…