May 6th, 2016 – The day our life changed.
Okay, so, nobody died or got sick or was rushed to the hospital, so don’t freak out or nothing.
But that day did change things.
However, were it not for the events that occurred in the weeks prior to that day, things might have unfolded differently.
I promise to make this brief…
During my annual visit with my OBGYN, I cried. I couldn’t help it. My midwife asked about my home life and my husband and I just let it all out…. again.
I had been crying nearly every day already, but crying in the doctor’s office, butt naked on the exam table, was probably the icing on the cake.
That’s what she prescribed.
I mean, what wife wouldn’t be depressed in my situation, right?
In case you didn’t know, my husband and I lived apart for about two and a half years. He worked in a different state. The kids and I stayed in our home near friends and family.
Then, I’d spent 10 great days alone with my husband in March when we celebrated our 10-year wedding anniversary on a cruise to the Caribbean. It was amazing. Saying goodbye to him when we returned home – not so much.
But on May 6th, that life vanished. My husband came home, for good.
After negative side-effects from taking just one dose of Zoloft, my husband decided enough was enough and that he was going to return home. Aww, my knight in shining armor.
But even though he came home, I still wasn’t feeling 100%. My mood was still down, but I started taking magnesium supplements after reading that it helped with depression. After about two weeks, my mood improved and I was able to enjoy the little, everyday things again, like how beautiful my two-year-old daughter’s smile is. I had no idea how down I was until I felt lifted up again.
Today, I still take my supplements everyday, like clockwork, with breakfast. I’m thankful that at least that part of my life is being managed.
Then, in the middle of June, my husband was offered a job in Louisiana and we had to quickly pack up our things and move. He had been unemployed about six weeks and we’d exhausted our savings and retirement funds, only having enough for moving and securing a rental house in our new city.
Without going into all the headaches that occurred during this move, let’s just say the month of June was extremely stressful.
On top of a stressful move, by accepting this job, my husband was also accepting a 50% pay cut.
We have hopes that it should only be temporary, but a 50% cut in income will cause any family to buckle down on expenses and make do with what you have.
And so, what does any of this have to do with this blog post today?
After all of that, all of the craziness of the last few weeks since the doctor wrote that script, I wanted to share that I’m okay and although my mommy career has taken me to a different town and life stage and all, I’m still here. I made it.
- I’m okay because now my husband sleeps in the same bed with me every night.
- I’m okay because my husband has a job.
- I’m okay because I’m living in a house that have everything we need.
- I’m okay because we are current on all our bills, despite the obstacles.
- I’m okay because we live in a nice neighborhood, in a good school district.
- I’m okay because my kids are on summer vacation. When they act silly, it helps me see that life isn’t all about stressing over things I cannot control.
- I’m okay because even though we don’t have friends or family here, we have each other.
I have a plaque in my bedroom that says, “The best thing to hold on to in life is each other.”
I’m not saying rely on the other person to make you happy.
I’m saying lean on each other for support and comfort. When my world feels like it’s crashing down, at least I know he’s there for me.
And, of course, God is there for us.
I know that He is watching how we deal with our current circumstances and I try my best to remember that. My family has been through similar financial issues in the past and God has always paved a way and I have no doubt that He’s paving one now.
I didn’t tell you everything that happened since that day in May when everything changed because those details don’t matter. What matters is that I’ve moved past it and I’m looking forward to the future. What matters is I’m stronger for having gone through it and if anyone reading this is going through obstacle after obstacle wondering when life is going to catch a break, I’m here to tell you that I know how scary that feels. My life still isn’t quite put back together, but the pieces are slowing getting put back into place, and the know the same will happen for you.
In time, we’ll make friends in our new city, I’ll find work, and my husband’s job position will change for the better, and life won’t feel like it’s sucking the fun out of everything. But for now, I’ll accept everything for what it is: a trial.
I can either learn from this trial or I can complain about it.
I choose to learn from it.
Thanks for reading this, moms. I look forward to writing again for ya’ll soon about more mommy career things.
Sometimes we feel like we are the only ones, but you aren’t alone. Everyone has their moments. Sharing with other moms is a great way to reach out and encourage one another. If you are experiencing anything you wish to share, please comment below.