“Tired? Don’t give up. Just keep going after it.” – Canva graphic
So that’s what I did. I went after it. It makes no sense except that it feels good for my soul. I’m done making excuses for myself and comparing myself to others. I have value to add to the world and I don’t need permission or a fancy education to do it. So I did it.
I took a gigantic leap of faith and purchased my name, Lauren Sainz, as a domain and this is officially the first post since the change-over.
How exciting, right?
But, let me be real for a minute. I will not be quiet anymore. I will not hold back this urge inside of me to tell someone that everything will be alright. I’ve been through some hard mental, physical and emotional things that brought me to me knees and almost broke me. But, my will to pull through was stronger than my desire to stay small. And I want to use what I know from experience to share with others on a similar path.
I don’t care who’s watching. I’m done hiding. I am going to march boldly down this new path and face fear head on. I won’t fail because I know that someone reading this took something away from it and that means someone else needs to see something yet to emerge that still lives inside me. I will not apologize for being me, for letting whatever this is inside of me to spill out on the page as I type.
Why Rebrand Now?
If you’re still reading this and following me, thank you! I know this blog has taken a bit of a journey since it started as MyMommyCareer.com in the summer of 2015.
Then, I converted it to From the Desk of Lauren in January. While I had good intentions after that conversion in the beginning of the year, I wasn’t able to tap into my creative juices and lost my drive to blog. You’ll notice I’ve rarely posted since.
About the same time, I briefly took on a side hustle as a Mary Kay Independent Beauty Consultant. And, actually, it was because of that slight life-detour that started a chain reaction of events that led me to where I am now. No, not because I made a bunch of money (I didn’t). There was something about being surrounded by the Mary Kay culture that reignited a spark inside of me that had burned out during my dark days. (I wrote about how life changing that was here.)
Because I’m feeling better than I have in years, I made the decision to rebrand this blog again. But this time I was done hiding from myself. And to prove it, I decided to strip down and just name it who I am – Lauren Sainz.
I am Free
I have nothing to hide and I have nothing to apologize for. My soul is happiest when I’m writing. Is it unconventional to want to write as a career? Sure, it’s out-of-the-box. It’s crazy. It’s insanity to the hundredth degree. But so is expecting myself to be happy working a minimum wage job with a laughable college degree (thanks, DeVry) at the age of 31.
I’d rather write and make crap money than make crap money while slowly killing myself.
There’s a difference.
Not that that can’t be you. It’s just not me. And after years of trying to think that I could be that person, I’ve accepted that I can’t. Which is why I finally dropped the veil: I no longer want to worry that a future employer is going to find out about my writing. I’m no longer taking a risk. From now on, my work is out there – for anyone to find.
And I hope they find it and love it.